Mitzi

I've started a blog for my storytelling gigs to have in place for the time when I am ready to be more than semi-professional. I say "semi" professional because I've gotten paid for storytelling gigs, I've trained as a storyteller in a public library setting, but for tax purposes, I'm still listed as a Home-Maker. That title smarts, because for all the lip-service paid to parenting, the title is still a euphemism for "non-wage earner."

I'm scared to market myself. I've had to come to terms with my childhood and teenage ambitions of greatness. I always assumed that I'd be a famous and successful writer, and that if I worked at the writing long and hard enough, the expected accolades would follow. High school writing classes were harsh wake-up calls, and my grades plummeted to C's. I had a hard time with criticism.

Now, I think I'm a pretty good writer, a pretty good storyteller, and I want to become even better over the years. Still, I don't have the drive to put my writing and storytelling above everything else. There are a lot of people my age and younger who are way more gifted than I am, and I'm fine with that. I really am. Most days. Some days I want to be the best at something that other people desire to do well, but it's fleeting. Most days, I want to be good enough.

What I really want is tell stories, sing songs and be a presence in the community. I want to be in demand for local library and school programs without being in competition with other storytellers and performers in the area. I want to put "Storyteller" in the spots on forms where it says to list my profession, and I don't want to cringe when I do it. I am scared that I don't have what it takes to market myself.

I'll do what I have always done, which is fake the confidence until it becomes real.
That brings me to my new blog, Mitzi. She drives the bus:

Mitzi Drives the Bus*
"Stories and songs for the long road ahead"

Link updated to reflect my storytelling website.

I'm not with the band (unless it's virtual)

When I was 15, I bought an electric bass guitar and an amplifier to go with it. My parents let me use the money people had given me when I was a baby. The next day, I set off for Scranton, Pennsylvania to get together with Doreen, my pen-pal with whom I had formed a band. Thus far, there was just the two of us, but we had plans for more people. The name of the band was Priestess. Our collective influences were Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Heart, the Go-Go’s, Motley Crue, the Doors, Judas Priest, Duran Duran, the Beatles, and Pete Seeger.

Yes. Well.

We wrote a few songs, got tee-shirts made up, and talked about the band during the two weeks I visited Doreen. There was one major difference between us, though: she was a serious musician, and I just wanted to be a rock and roller. I knew I didn’t have what it took to work on the development of a band, go on the road, attempt to get recording contracts, and finally open for Joan Jett. [Years later, one of my other pen-pals ended up doing all that and marrying the drummer, but that’s another story.] When the time came to make decisions about what we were going to do with the next parts of our lives, Doreen headed off to a prestigious music school and I studied English Literature at a small liberal arts college in the Midwest.

I really did not know how to teach myself to play the bass guitar. I chose bass because I had read that it was “easy.” It’s not. You actually need skill. However, I have always liked dressing up as different characters, planning carnivals and puppet-shows, dreaming up possible scenarios… in short, Playing Pretend. Now, I really do think it would be fun to be part of a local band, incorporate more music into my storytelling, but I’m not a professional musician in the making. While I wish I had done more music in college, where there was an abundance of coffee-houses in which to perform, at least I attended those coffee-houses. I’ve always been a good fan. Just ask Heather Kropf.

In the meantime, I’ve changed the name of my conceptual band from Maisie Drives the Bus to Mitzi Drives the Bus. I want to wear bright, cheery stripes without getting sued by the people who represent Lucy Cousins. “Mitzi Drives the Bus” is a combination of several stories: Tell Me a Mitzi, by Lore Segal, Maisy Drives the Bus, by Lucy Cousins, and Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, by Mo Willems. My motto is "Folk rock for rebel tots."

Tricycle Race: the lyrics

House of Glee productions is pleased to present the lyrics to "Tricycle Race," fresh off the debut album Mitzi Drives the Bus.* The song is based upon "Bicycle Race" by Queen. Due to potential copyright issues (i.e. not having cleared anything with the Queen estate), you will have to listen to the song in your head (here is a link to Queen's video). Then, sing it loud, proclaiming to the world all of the rage of your rebellious (preschool) youth.

Tricycle Race

Tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride my trike
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride it where I like

You say yes, I say no
You say stop, I say go
You say sleep I say hey man
Baby Einstein’s not my scene
And I don't like Raffi
You say sit, I say stand
You say fresh, I say canned
You say nap, I say play
I don't believe in tooth-decay
Salad-forks or molding clay
All I wanna do is:

Tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride my trike
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride my—

Tricycle races are coming your way
So forget about flash-cards, oh yeah!
All the preschoolers will ride out today
And look out for the toddlers, oh yeah
On your marks, get set, go--
Tricycle race, tricycle race, tricycle race
Tricycle, tricycle, tricycle, I want to ride my tricycle
Tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
Tricycle race

You say milk, I say juice
You say Wayne, I say Bruce
(Batman), I say cool it, man
I don't wanna be the President of Student Council
You say smile, I say frown
Pokemon gets me down,
I don't wanna be a candidate
For Harvard Law or Texas State
Cos all I want to do is:

Tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle, tricycle, tricycle
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride my trike
I want to ride my tricycle
I want to ride it where I like.

Lyrics copyright 2006 by Alkelda the Gleeful, protected by the laws of satire.

*I don't really have an album.

Maisie Mitzi Drives the Bus: The Debut Album

My aunt took this photo when I was on the East Coast. I don't remember her taking it, yet there I am, looking intently and earnestly at the camera. Really, I was probably just focusing on the chord change (D to E minor by the look of my left hand). The photograph just begged to be turned into an album cover. Of course, now the album is so popular that I can't keep it stocked.*


Here is the playlist:

1) Wheels on the Bus/Take You Riding in My Car Mash-Up
2) Organic Mechanic (Make My Engine Run Clean)
3) De-Doodley-Doodley-Doodley Doo (The Rooster Song)
4) House of the Surprising Sundae
5) O Dan Zanes, Won't You Play in My Town
6) Throw the Kitty Out Reel
7) Tricycle Race
8) If There's Pie in the Sky, Make it Rhubarb
9) Purple Nancy
10) Sweet, Sweet Baby (Let Me Sleep Already)

Bonus Track:
Why is it Sunny in Seattle (When it's Raining in Rainier)

*No, I don't really have an album.
Addendum: I'm thinking of changing my band name to Mitzi Drives the Bus. You know, in case I ever get a hit single (besides "Doodley-Doodley Doo") and there's some trouble with the Lucy Cousins management in the world of television. I wish Maisy didn't have a television show. I'm biased, of course.

A, D, E7

I'm on a kick where I'm researching simple story-songs for future storytimes. While I've heard the phrase "three chord rock and roll" bandied about, I didn't actually believe you could play songs using A, D, and E7 chords.

I am linking three different story-songs.

Fox Went Out on a Chilly Night

On Top of Spaghetti

Sipping Cider Through a Straw

They have different tunes, different rhythms, yet they can all be played with the same three chords. If you're right-handed, you can follow along here. If you're left-handed, copy the photo onto your desktop and flip it horizontally.


A (with your right hand, strum all strings)


D (with your right hand, strum all strings except for the string closest to your face)


E7 (with your right hand, strum all strings)

There. Now you know how to play guitar. You may be no Gigging Simpleton, but hey, neither am I. You're welcome to play in my band anytime. It's called MaisyMitzi Drives the Bus. Our band members so far:

Lucia: lead vocals, lead guitar, rhythm harmonica, drums
Alkelda: rhythm guitar, backup vocals, ocarina
Bede: lead harmonica
Brad: A&R Man Gorilla

For some reason, Ulric wants nothing whatsoever to do with this gig. Ulric is the most dignified member of the House of Glee.