What Could Go Wrong?

After reading about Adrienne's fire in the kitchen, I proposed that she and Tanita (author of A La Carte, a novel with recipes) start a cooking show that ends in a culinary disaster every time. Adrienne or Tanita said, "We could call it 'What Could Go Wrong?'"

My brother burnt rice once, and for years was razzed as the guy who couldn't cook rice. I stay away from cooking pasta because inevitably I burn my foot when boiling water leaps up out of the colander over the sink. I've thought about wearing boots in the kitchen, but now I just stay away from pasta. Only recently was the pine-nuts moratorium lifted for Bede. As much as I love my mother's cooking, I still get a little nervous when she picks up a kitchen knife, because I remember the blood.

Despite the failures, a lot of yummy things have emerged from our kitchen. I can recall only one time that we made something so awful that we decided to give up and go out to dinner. We return to the kitchen because we are living creatures and we must eat. Besides, what could go wrong?

Please post your kitchen adventures in the comments. Feel free to embellish.