Sunday, April 26, 2009

Contest Submissions Round-Up, Part I

Here is Part 1 of the books submitted to the Unnecessary Children's Book Sequels That Never Were contest. I'll post part 2 on Monday, April 27. If only I had graphics! My meager Photoshop skills are not up to the task.

What do People Do All Evening?
Children were bitterly disappointed to find out that after working all day, Sergeant Murphy just watches TV, Lowly Worm goes to bed early and Bug Dozer molts his exoskeleton.
--Sam Riddleburger

The gritty and chilling sequel to Caps for Sale, this year's Hacks for Sale: A Tale of Celebrity, Some More Monkeys, And Their Typewriters laments the difficulties of celebrity children's book authors. Follow the empty days of such disparate authors as A-Rod, Maria Shriver, Katie Couric, and Lynne Cheney as they rail against a ceaselessly indifferent publishing world which just won't give them the undeserved attention they crave...
--Tanita Davis, Finding Wonderland

Angus and the Car
Following on from Angus and the Ducks, Angus and the Cat and Angus Lost. In this sequel, the curious little terrier adventures out on his own once too often.
--Schelle, Brand New Ending

Don't Let the Bus Drive Over the Pigeon.
--Candace Ryan, Book, Booker, Bookest

Pat the Porcupine
In this attempt to capitalize on the enormous popularity of Dorothy Kunhardt’s classic, her heirs have spiced things up a bit with this sequel, which includes such attention-getting features as a battery-powered “Touch the socket” — zzzap! — and “Is the stove hot?” — yowch! — as well as the titular porky (ably introducing the concept of sharp to even the youngest readers) and a shockingly realistic “Put your hand in the big croc’s mouth.” (Bandages are provided in a convenient pouch at the back of the book.)
--Hannah Mahoney
Copy Manager
Candlewick Press

Owl Rabies
Set three years after the happy ending of Owl Babies, Martin Waddell's eagerly awaited sequel shows the owl siblings again supporting each other through a time of stress and worry. Sarah and Percy have long since flown the nest but they are reunited by a cry in the night from Bill, who informs them that their owl mother has been bitten by a fox and is seriously ill. This book, with its strong message of family togetherness, is a must read for any child faced with the possibility of losing a loved one.
--Schelle, Brand New Ending

Harold And The Invisible Crayon ( following Harold and the Purple Crayon)
--MamaKopp’s family (Tobin), Live‘nLearn

Eloise is Evicted
After the sale of the famous Plaza Hotel and numerous reports to Child Protective Services, longtime resident, Eloise is evicted. Her mother must now take full responsibility for her child.
-- Rocco Staino and Cynthia Sandler

Frog and Toad Are Married
After years of hiding their true relationship, Frog and Toad come out of the closet and wed when the legislature passes a law in their state allowing same sex marriage.
---Elaine Magliaro, Wild Rose Reader

Just You and Me Too
In this sequel, Little Goosey is joined by her newly hatched brother, Baby Goosey. You'll love the hilarious antics of these sibling rivals as they compete for the attention of Gander Goose.
--Schelle, Brand New Ending

The Steadfast Tin Soldier II: Judgment Day
Having been melted down in the fireplace with his only love the paper ballerina, the one-legged soldier emerges from a heart-shaped puddle of molten tin to be regenerated as an army of one-legged soldiers who seek revenge against their tormenters.
--Lori, Goddess of Clarity

King, King, and Prince: When the two happily-ever-after kings throw a shindig at their palace and invite the artist formerly known as Prince, hilarity and outrageous costumes ensue. Unfortunately, everybody attending is temporary blinded by an unexpected glitter explosion.
--a. fortis, Finding Wonderland

Herman Parish honors his aunt's memory by telling a heartwarming story of love and friendship in the midst of the difficulties of growing old in Amelia Bedelia Forgets Who She Is and is Found Wandering on the Freeway Median With No Shoes and a Half-Eaten Chicken Drumstick.

Click, Clack, Cluck: Chickens That Tap Dance
The chickens steal back the typewriter from Farmer Brown, write a screenplay for a song and dance musical, get financial backing from Gene Kelly's heirs, and produce a movie in which they star as a group of tap dancers at Radio City Music Hall called the Cluckettes.
---Elaine Magliaro, Wild Rose Reader

Alexander and the Wonderful, Blissful, Super Good, Extra Special Day
Because some days are like that, dontcha know? Even in Alaska, where patriotic young Alexander actually ends up. (Not Afghanistan, which is pretty much the most anti-American country ever besides maybe Buenos Aires.) Alexander gets a wonderful job working on Sarah Palin's 2012 presidential campaign as her personal shopper. Read all about his adventures in this beautifully illustrated sequel. Polar bears included.
--Kate Coombs, Book Aunt

Byron Barton employs his characteristic style of simple lines and bold colors in yet another tribute to the glories of the working world in I Want to Be An Accountant.

The sweet baby chimp, Bobo, whom we all grew to know and love in Jez Alborough's HUG, is now a teenager. In this latest sequel, Bobo saunters through jungle and savannah monosyllabically expressing his complete indifference to all he surveys. (It is rumoured that negotiations are underway for a further sequel, possibly to be entitled THUG.)
--Schelle, Brand New Ending

Okay, I know you've been waiting for the potty humor. Here are the entires in a special section all their own.

No One Poops But You
The not so popular sequel to the book "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi.
--Stephanie, Adventures With the Kids

Walter the Farting Dog and Martha Speaks fall in love but discover that marital bliss is not so easy to achieve in Walter and Martha Get a Divorce Because He Smells Like an Outhouse and She Won't Ever Shut the %$&#@ Up. (Jason writes, “I don't know- maybe that's borderline, but I couldn't resist.”)
-- Jason

In Peepo! Janet and Allen Ahlberg treated us to a baby's view of life through a cleverly designed series of cutout windows. In Poop-Oh! the Ahlbergs revisit this successful technique of partially revealed illustrations and charming rhyme to present the infant's adventures in potty training. A book that is guaranteed to hold your child captivated on the "throne"!
--Schelle, Brand New Ending

Finally, here are the chapter-book sequels that didn't qualify because they were supposed to be picture-books (and no, the rules I made up didn't even occur to me until just before the contest closed).

Chapter Book Sequels That Never Were

Charlotte's Web II: Revenge of the Spider Babies
Charlotte's many children discover their mother's past as an uncredited, unpaid author whose works were used to benefit a lowly pig. Unable to collect royalties and forced to live in poverty, they devise an evil plot to exact their revenge. Wilber and the Arable family start to get strange and threatening Web messages like "The itsy bitsy spider is watching you" and "Mmmm, bacon!"
Dawn, of Greens

Charlotte's Web 2.0
Charlotte's babies go off to save other piggies, leading to a severe ham shortage in the land.

A Wrinkle in Rhyme
Plans for the development of an all-poetry version of Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time were cut unceremoniously short when the ghost writer was unable to find words that rhyme with "tesseract," "Fortinbras," and "cherubim."
--a. fortis, Finding Wonderland

A Wrinkle in My Shirt
In which Meg and Charles Wallace start a dry cleaning business that uses tesseracts to send clothing to the two-dimensional planet to remove wrinkles.
--Greg W.

In the crossover sequel, Diary of a Wimpy Spider, Spider stays on his web all day, avoiding his bullying older sibling until his world-traveling grandfather comes home and gives him a piece of his mind.

The depressing, but historically accurate companion to the Little House series called Little House on the Reservation, where we see how Native Americans were abused by the federal government to satisfy the settlers' needs for more land.
--Greg W.

James and the Merely Average-Sized Brussels Sprout
After his adventure with the peach, James settles down to a more ordinary life on a farm, raising vegetables. Sadly, his plans for prize-winning produce are thwarted by tFinding Wonderlandhe very same outsized insects that befriended him on his original journey.

The View From Sunday. The friends, now all grown up, get together every Sunday night for cocktails, lamenting the fact that most people still don't know the real meaning of the word "tips."
--Yat Yee

The Phantom Tollbooth 2: E-Z Pass
Mostly about gerunds.
--Sam Riddleburger


Jules at 7-Imp said...

Oh my, those made me laugh outloud in spots, particularly Owl Rabies. Just the title alone got me.

Lone Star Ma said...

Soooo funny...thank you!

Melangell said...

It is fascinating what strikes different people as really, really funny. I love the last entry Phantom Tollbooth 2: E-Z Pass (mostly about gerunds.) Partly because I have escaped from the East Coast, where E-Z Pass revolutionized travelling on I-95, in a gerund sort of way.

Anamaria (bookstogether) said...

Oh my goodness, these are all hilarious. How did you ever decide??

Anonymous said...

I laugh every single time I read No One Poops But You.

Saints and Spinners said...

Adrienne: I laugh out loud with No One Poops But You, too.

Anamaria: This is why we had judges. I knew I was in danger of having tied first, second and third place winners plus would be tempted to match up the right prizes with people. As it is, I'm going to have giveaways in the future once my Etsy shop starts up.

Melangell: Thanks so much for judging. As a non-driver at the time, I didn't appreciate E-Z Pass on I-95, but I do remember getting stuck on the George Washington Bridge (or was it the other one?) going from Upstate to NYC in the early days of the Pass.

LSM: I'm so glad you enjoyed these. There are more coming.

Jules: It's a great title. Your Purple Plastic Hearse was much appreciated, too.

Kate Coombs said...

I've been watching too many action movies, I guess: I love The Steadfast Tin Soldier II: Judgment Day and Charlotte's Web II: Revenge of the Spider Babies. Of course, you can't go wrong with Owl Rabies. (And hey, Farida, I put up a post linking all of this and showing off your butterfly herder!)

Myth said...

Lol those are great! I'm glad everyone liked Owl Rabies :D

Someone else deserves credit for "Click, Clack, Cluck: Chickens That Tap Dance" though - my dancing chickens entry was "Leap, Pounce, Cha Cha Cha" :P

Saints and Spinners said...

Schelle: Thanks! That was Elaine's, and I corrected it. Next year, everyone gets ONE entry. :)

Kate: Thanks so much for posting the links!

Unknown said...

Owl Rabies and Nobody Poops But You are just too funny.