Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Children's Books That Never Were, Part 1

Today is the first post of a series I'm planning called "Children's Books That Never Were." However, instead of me writing all of the posts, I'd like some (or more) of you in the blogosphere to add your own offerings. If you decide to add to the collection, please post your link in the comments section.

From the editor:

Dear Ms. Flack,

I am intrigued with your proposal for a picture-book series about an insatiably inquisitive platypus named Angus. However, I’m not sure that the American public is ready for monotremes in children’s literature. H. A. Rey had a similar problem over at Houghton Mifflin when his “Querulous George” books originally featured an
echidna that the Man in the Yellow Hat illegally imported from New Guinea. Rey's editors decided that a tailless monkey illegally imported from Kenya would be less controversial.

I’m returning your manuscript for Angus Lost, as well as your proposed cover for the book. I’d be happy to take a look at the manuscript again with a different animal featured in the series. What about something as simple as a dog? Have you thought about the possibility of making Angus a
Chihuahua or a Shar Pei?

Garrulous MacKenzie
Assistant to the Lead Editor

Children’s Division
Furrier, Stress & Gyros


Unknown said...

Personally, I've always felt that children's literature needs more robots.

Saints and Spinners said...

Tony-- I rather enjoyed the "My Robot Buddy" series. They're a bit outdated, of course, but still enjoyable. I'll see if our library still has them.

Vivian Mahoney said...

What a great idea!

Lady K said...

HILARIOUS! Now you've opened up a HUGE can of worms.

limpy99 said...

Well, now I've dsicovered that the inspiration for those "Laird Angus McAngus" stories I loved in my youth was actually a rejected monotreme.

How infinitely depressing.

ElsKushner said...

Hee! Can't wait to see more...

Lone Star Ma said...

Ha! My favorite robot children's book Tony is called Orvyx, or something like that. The LSB favors Tin Man Fix-It.

Unknown said...

1. You Are Different And That's Bad.
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables.
3. Dad's New Wife Robert.
4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
6. All Cats Go To Hell
7. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
8. Some Kittens Can Fly
9. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
10. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
11. Strangers Have The Best Candy
12. You Were an Accident
13. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
14. Pop! Goes the Hamster...And Other Microwave Games
15. The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
16. Your Nightmares Are Real
17. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
18. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
19. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?