I made one of those "how well do you know me?" quizzes purely for amusement. This formatting on the original quiz website is funkier than I'd like, so I'm revising this post to include it as plain-text. Answers will be revealed when you highlight them at the bottom. It really doesn't matter what score you get, but you do get extra points (added in the comments section) for spotting the jokes sprinkled throughout.
Clocking in at 19 pages, what is the name of Farida's first "novel?"
A) Squid's Eyes and Boy-Burgers
B) Murder in the Mansion
C) The Discovery of the Golden Unicorn
D) Joan Jett Battles the Robots
My obscure-sounding teenage poetry was first influenced by what lyricist? (Feel free to snicker.)
A) Simon LeBon of Duran Duran
B) Jim Morrison of the Doors
C) Paul Simon
D) "Weird Al" Yankovic
Which Disney adaptation of a fairy tale irks me the most?
A) Beauty and the Beast-- where are Belle's two sisters? Also, the whole Gaston subplot did nothing for me.
B) Cinderella-- I would have liked to have seen the sisters' eyes get pecked out. The whole thing ended too abruptly.
C) Sleeping Beauty-- What part of "sleeping for a hundred years" did Disney not understand? I'm guessing Aurora was asleep for 2 hours, tops.
D) Snow White-- where are the red-hot iron shoes and the three visits from the Wicked Queen?
Why is "Sleeping Beauty" my favorite fairy tale?
A) I just want to take a nap without being pestered.
B) It's an ensemble story in which different characters briefly have important parts.
C) I empathize with the wicked fairy because like her, I never get invited to parties.
D) The idea of getting 12 birthday presents makes me giddy.
What prompted me finally to start taking guitar lessons at the age of 33?
A) I watched a video of Sister Rosetta Tharpe playing "Didn't it Rain?"
B)I kept beating my friends at games of Guitar Hero.
C)My daughter's favorite musician offered guitar lessons for grownups who work with children.
D) I was asked to join a band called Mitzi Drives the Bus.
What song do I like to play on the guitar when I need to cheer myself up?
A) On the Sunny Side of the Street
B) Ring Around A Rosy Rag
C) Sidewalks of New York
D) One Meatball
What is one of my guilty secrets?
A) I read Cosmopolitan magazine for the quizzes.
B) I crave peanutbutter sandwiches made with marshmallow fluff.
C) I enjoyed the Lord of the Rings films more than the books.
D) I don't think Mr. Darcy of Pride and Prejudice is all that special.
What pie do I think is synonymous with love?
C) Chocolate chess
D) Lemon meringue
Which fairy tale character am I most like?
A) The Old Woman Who Lived in a Vinegar Bottle, who is never happy with the house she lives in, no matter what the fairy gives her.
B) Kate Crackernuts, who saves her step-sister Anne from the curse of having a sheeps-head.
C) Molly Whuppie, who tricks a giant into chopping off the heads of his own daughters instead of her sisters and runs away on the bridge of one hair.
D) Clever Elsie, who sits on the steps of the cellar and weeps over what she imagines will happen in the future.
Answers: I took out one question, I admit. (1) B (2) B (3) D (4) B (5) C (6) D (7) A (8) C (9) B (10) D