Thirty-Five Things I Know About Myself

I've just finished my birthday list of thirty-five things I know about myself. They're not as sparkly as the thirty-four things because, to be honest, I am not feeling sparkly about anything right now. I'm fine with having a thirty-fifth birthday, but I am not fine with still feeling sick after three weeks. (It sounds as if my brains are sloshing behind my ears, if you must know).

Thirty-Five Things I Know About Myself

1) My ideal afterlife experience would be to sleep under cozy blankets and dream about people.

2) Acting with courage does not guarantee accolades or thanks. In fact, it usually doesn’t. Do it anyway.

3) I am worried that my Christian faith involves checking common sense and intellect at the front door. I trust that faith and intellect are not mutually exclusive, but there are times when I wonder.

4) When I was four, I thought it was strange that my parents had silly names like “Mama” and “Papa” when other people had normal-sounding names like Michelle and Robert.

5) Just because someone older and smarter than I says something is true doesn’t necessarily mean it is true.

6) I resent it that movie-makeovers always involve the replacement of eyeglasses with contact lenses.

7) I am frustrated that many of my beloved children’s books contain aspects of racism.

8) The first book I ever read with an African-American main character was Striped Ice-Cream, by Joan M. Lexau.

9) I can finally eat mushrooms and eggplant, but not liver or green peppers.

10) I think the reason I’ve not traveled as much as I’d planned is because of my abysmal grasp of languages. Tant pis.

11) I like blues but not jazz (unless I can dance to it).

12) Despite my earlier scorn, I suspect I might be a country music fan after all.

13) For four years, I was a vegetarian. I stopped because I wanted to be able to eat what other people offered me.

14) People should be called what they want to be called, pronounced the way they like it.

15) I love my daughter so much it hurts.

16) Fundamentalism in any form (including atheism) is tedious and leaves no room for actual discussion. I like to talk about things and find out what other people think.

17) I used to think that if I ever did marry, I’d probably end up with someone who made me miserable. I am so fortunate I married Bede instead. I am the lucky one.

18) I want to do good things for the world, but I don’t want to be overly inconvenienced by them. I am not proud of this admission.

19) I don’t worry about my writing career anymore. It’s liberating.

20) My dream house has a turret. Also, there’s a gazebo in the back-yard. We can sit under the gazebo and drink our tea in the rain.

21) I enjoyed the films of The Lord of the Rings more than I enjoyed the books. Sean Bean as Boromir was a plus.

22) I didn’t enjoy attending school until I went to college.

23) However, I flunked American Sign Language in college (see #10).

24) Languages studied: French, German, Yiddish, Latin, American Sign Language. Language fluency: zilch.

25) I love having an actual daughter much more than the theoretical idea of having a baby.

26) When I was eleven years old, my favorite historical romance was The Phantom Lover, by Elizabeth Mansfield. The best bits took place in Cornwall.

27) Times I’ve read The Scarlet Letter: 5. Times I enjoyed reading The Scarlet Letter: 0.

28) Ulysses really is a wonderful book. I just needed a key. My key was The New Bloomsday Book by Harold Blamires.

I'm also fond of Ulysses for Dummies (click on the link! It's not what you think).

29) I think I would have loved math had I been allowed the time and room to learn it at own pace. This year, I plan to (begin to) amend that flaw in my education.

30) I get really grouchy when I hear about “Native American culture” or “Native American spirituality” as if Native Americans/American Indians were one large group containing teepees, dream-catchers and feathered headdresses. I don’t think I have any actual roots to Native American nations, and I don’t know a lot about individual groups, but the generalizations still irk me anyway.

31) Whether or not we actually have Free Will, I still think we need to act as if we have Free Will. It’s part of our responsibilities of being human.

32) I need all the help I can get.

33) Half of me is stoic, and half of me is a hypochondriac. Those halves are constantly in conflict with each other.

34) I get very silly when it comes to baby animals, especially those with fur or feathers.

35) I don’t actually believe I’m 35. Sometimes I didn’t think I’d make it to 18. Then again, at one point, even 12 seemed like a long way away.