Thursday, February 01, 2007

Cone Hats

Blog posts about fashion rules are amusing in small doses and tedious when they become long lists of the writers' gripes against high trouser-hems and the perils of mixing white socks with black shoes. While there are some clothing choices that still make me shudder (no dark-colored socks with shorts!), having a child who likes to mix striped trousers with patterned shirts has made me more easy-going these days. However, there is one ladies' fashion item with its accompanying faux pas that I must address: the hennin.

You must have noticed by now that the hennin, a cone-shaped hat traditionally worn by noblewomen in 15th Century Europe, is making a come-back. Individual tastes differ as to whether you should tuck your hair completely under the hennin (tweeze the hairline!) or allow the hair to hang loose in enticing tendrils. Also, whether or not you wear a thin veil pendant draped over the tip of your hennin is completely up to you. Choose a full cone-shape akin to the Burgundian steeple hennin if you have high ceilings or a more minimalistic truncated hennin for cozy dwellings. It is best to leave the hennin with two cones for Halloween parties and practical jokes.

Hennin fashionistas all agree on one thing: you must wear your hennin tiled backward, not pointed straight up. At social functions, staff meetings and parent nights, I repeatedly see hennins worn as if they were dunce caps or party hats.

Very, Very Wrong

This practice simply will not do. I rely upon you, dear readers, to set good examples for your hennin-wearing peers and gently but firmly correct their fashion errors. I wouldn't be surprised if improperly-worn hennins show up on Go Fug Yourself. Any day now...

Tune in for next week's fashion advice on why wearing hoop skirts with jeans is just a terrible idea. Wearing hoop skirts with jeans only ended in heartbreak for Pecos Bill and Slue-Foot Sue.


limpy99 said...

Those are great points, but all I keep thinking is "We are the Cone-Heads. We are from France."

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

Limpy99: At least the Coneheads had enough gravitas to avoid hats.

BlueMamma said...

How about the butterfly hennin?

that's pretty bad too.

Melangell said...

Words fail me. I am so grateful for this tactful instruction. I am embarassed to say that as a kindergarten teacher, I have at times inadverently (sp?) set a bad example for the children by letting my hennin slip into awkward positions. And I am torn between the Burgundian steepled hennin (as a traditionalist, modelling the most aesthetically pleasing) and the more modest truncated hennin, which might seem less intimidating to the shy ones among the K set.
As far as the thin veil drape, I highly recommend silk gauze as the most appropriate fabric choice.

Lady K said...

LMAO! OH SHOOT that cracked me UP! When I was little I wanted one of those cone hats. NO MORE. I can't stop giggling. Happy Friday!

Lone Star Ma said...

I feel so uncivilized...(: