For your Sunday afternoon amusement, here are two links that satirize the under-five set. The items in the links aren't mean-spirited, but they definitely point toward a kind of logic I have long since abandoned. Then again, I think I missed out. I had all the drawbacks of being a difficult child without any of the perks (mainly, I was "difficult" without actually getting my own way.) Had I been more astute about the power of outlasting the adults with my raw, sheer stamina, I would have been a force with which many would have found daunting.
From The Four-Year-Old's Work Day--Ross Murray:
10:40 a.m. Randy from accounting drops by and "borrows" pen with the springy pink feather on top. Grab pen back. Scream in each other's faces until Randy takes a swing with copy of Needs-Assessment Analysis. Supervisor intervenes and sends Randy to the smoke room for a time-out.
From The Toddler Miracle Diet--author unknown:
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion of your best chair.